Choose to be happy.

For the most part of my little life, I have been happy. I always have. It doesn't mean that my life is easy or that I don't know what struggling means. It doesn't mean that I always get everything I ever want or wish for. It simply means that I've learned how to be happy. I've learned to appreciate the little things and simplest pleasures of life. I've learned how to focus solely on the positive stuff. 

Do not surround yourself with people who are only going to bring the negativity in your life. Avoid focusing on the stuff that you don't have, focus on what you already have. Appreciate it. Understand that life isn't just about materials. The little things in life are enough to make you happy if you know how much they are worthwhile. I am 20 years old, and I can’t wait to learn more about life and everything.

Life. Love. Family. Close friends. Hearing the heavy raindrops falling while you're under the blankets, having a hot chocolate and reading your favorite novel. That one person you love the most hugging you tightly and hearing his heart beat faster, knowing that he loves you back. Looking at one or two of your closest friends at once, and sharing the quickest glance or eye-roll, and understanding the very little thought in their minds at this very moment. Knowing that you can tell this one person every little thing happening in your life, because you know that you can trust him almost fully. This trust being mutual and reciprocated makes it even better. Watching your favorite tv show and always getting into it so much because the acting is so damn freaking almost perfect. Having quality time with your parents, your extended family around a table, during family get togethers. Watching the sunset with people you feel comfortable with and enjoying this pure moment of bliss. Having deep conversations out of the blue with your closest friends. Late night conversations with people you love. Enjoying a good vodka on the top of a roof and talking about fate, destiny, love, life... Skinny dipping at midnight. Laughing till you want to pee or until your stomach hurts. Dares and challenges among your friends that turned out to be epic dares...

Find what it is that makes you happy and do it.  Find who it is that make you happy & keep them close to you as long as you can. Fight for the people you love. Learn to let go all the shitty people and crappy stuff. Let go all those who once mattered but in the end hurt you. Their purpose was to teach you a lesson, learn from it.

A new year is about to begin, and my resolution is the same as it has always been for the past five years: Choose to be happy. I have to admit that my people help a lot and can't thank them enough for making my little life so much better. 

Your past is useful to you.

I am not lucky, I am blessed.

There are certain moments in life that you never forget. I was nervous, I didn't know what I was doing but I would do it all over again.  
- Gloria, Modern Family, 2011.
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All my actions, mistakes, decisions led me to where I am right now.
And honestly, I am more thankful than ever. 
I'm not lucky to have the people I have in my life, I am rather truly blessed.

When you’re out there looking for that perfect person...

When you’re out there looking for that perfect person, keep these things in mind - People change, no matter how hard they try not to. As you grow older you mature, and with each new level of maturity come different ideas, different needs and wants. The person who was perfect for you at twenty could be the person you hate when you’re thirty-five. You have to find some one who will grow with you, change with you, laugh with you and cry with you. A person who fills in where you lack, a person whom you can fill in for when they are lacking. But what about the perfect person, you ask? They do not exist. There are no perfect people, only people who are perfect for each other. You deserve to be happy not in the arms of someone who keeps you waiting but in the arms of someone who will take you now.

- J. M. Whitaker

Overthinking can be a tricky thing.

If only wishes come true, Feb 2011.

My friend  Sheriously couldn't be more right. 

If only ALL of us could  be able to apply that in real life. I have this close friend who's just like me, we worry only when it concerns the people we love, adore, like. (Shall I precise that when I say worry - it's not the usual worry, it's more like the paranoid kind of worry.) That's kind of our strength and weakness at the same time I guess. I remember often telling her this exact same quote back in the days and she would reply: "but it's not always easy to not worry at all. not when it's about someone you love." I miss that sometimes you know..together analyzing, overthinking about what he did, what he said to you, reading between his lines. haha. God I swear if people could hear us..But I always ended up trying my best to reassure you, because I knew that losing him would almost destroy you. I always knew that from the moment you guys had your very first big fight.
& Look at you now. You deserve each other. 
Seriously, you guys stand out from all the rest. 

I'm truly happy for you.

If there's one thing that I've learnt is that “Over-thinking ruins you. Ruins the situation, turns things around, makes you worry and just make things worse than it actually is. ” 

Because ALL relationships have to be two-way.

Whether friendship or love , it is the same freaking thing. 
I wish some people would get that. 

I tweeted this the other day, it was right after a very close of friend and I were talking about a "lost" friendship. Friendship is such a big word, yet simple, it is the ignorant people who make it complicated. I firmly believe that friendships will only work if the two friends are both willing to always make an effort, keep in touch, and be up to date to each other's life. 

This also applies to long-distance friendships. Of course, in most situations, both of them will be leading a different life. [The equation is simple: Different environments + Different circle of friends + Different country = Different life.] So, the interests and conversations won't be mutual {which I think most people are too stupid to comprehend} but I guess the key thing is to compromise and keep an interest in each other. 

Afterall, the point is to still be in each other's life cause you still care and want that person to be in your life right? But you know where most friends make the biggest mistake? One of them stops caring, or one of them loses interest, or one of them thinks that the other isn't keeping in touch so why bother? Ego aside, the second key thing is to understand that either one of them is busy or even both and it's hard to keep in touch but again, it's not hard to find some common time at some point and catch up right? 

So.. yes, inevitably your life will be different as time passes by, you will have different circle of friends and acquaintances but only those who bother to keep you in their life and this being mutual, those are the people who really matter. 

Now what about love relationships? I can't talk much about that, I'm still 20 years old, I've felt different kinds of "love" or lust - crush - attraction - feelings etc.. but I find myself inexperienced cause I am too young. But from what I've witnessed about the different couples around me, and I can take as the almost perfect example being my parents, the same rule can be applied. Love relationships will mostly work if the two lovers are both willing to always make an effort, compromise and never lose hope. I think it's quite logical right? If only one of them keeps trying to make the relationship work and the other just sits there, feelings aside, the former will lose hope and will rather end the relationship.

Anyways, note that this mostly concern two friends that are truly close or two lovers who love each other, don't read if you think of someone in particular and you're not even close or in love to that person. 

Don't even bother, because seriously it annoys me when someone criticizes that I don't keep in touch anymore. Fcking asshole, gotta be two-way right? You don't keep in touch for whatever reason and I don't keep in touch simply cause we were not that close and I just don't miss you. It's all about the closeness. 

"If it made me smile once, I will never regret it."

"I don't randomly stop talking to people. Everything I do has a reason to it. I just don't want to tolerate anymore. Don't be quick to jump on the "I don't forgive" conclusion, because I do, I always have. But there's only so much you can push someone around. In certain cases, I acknowledge my mistake." 
To friends who are no longer friends - Dec, 2011.

You need to understand that I simply applied the famous Lauren’s line: “I want to forgive you and I want to forget you.” It’s important that I emphasize on the fact that it’s not the first time that I forgave you, I did so multiple times before but I have my limits. I can’t keep forgiving someone who keeps making the same mistakes repeatedly. What’s worse is that those issues were being discussed on several occasions throughout our friendship years. To be honest, you know what really triggered it this time? I was going through something and I realized that I don’t need this negativity anymore so I decided to remove everything negative in my life. Without sounding too heartless and with utter frankness, I don’t regret it.

“People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.”

Sometimes, I miss you and the friendship we had. We had truly awesome moments together and I only hope that one day, when you’ll look back, you’ll never find yourself regretting those moments because I truly don’t. I figured the reason why you came into my life and I understand why you didn’t stay longer. But you need to know something; I don’t hate you and if someday you need to talk to someone, more precisely a stranger because I heard that sometimes talking to a stranger can make you feel better, know that I am here because there is a little part of me that still cares for you. 

I don’t miss you at all. I know why you came into my life, it was simply to make me stronger and that’s it. I can’t even begin to measure the extent of how I seriously don’t give a crap about your life there and even you. To some degree, my friends were right and looking back, I ask myself how the fck could I be so blinded? You didn’t love me, you loved the idea of me and when you finally got me, you got bored. You didn’t even give me the time to show you that I could make you happy. But I don’t regret it, the experience was worth it. You showed me that assholes exist solely to teach you a lesson.

My point is this: whoever said “What you don’t know can’t hurt you”, was a complete and total moron. Because for most people, not knowing is one of the worst feelings in the world. - Grey’s Anatomy

I stumbled on this quote the other day and you were the very first person who popped in my mind. I will never forget what happened because to this day you never told me why you did it. I heard from her but that’s it. I want to hear it straight from you, in order to forget it. I need to forget in order to close that fcking door because don’t forget you’re the one who opened that door, not me. If you bothered to open the door in the first place, I don’t think it’d be too hard to simply close it right? I see how happy you are, I am happy too, don’t think that I’m all depressed or sad. I just need to hear it once that’s all. "Is that pathetic ? maybe!!! but i deserve to know the reason from you." - Closure, Oct 2012

To all of you: I will not apologize for how I feel or what I did, these are my feelings and saying sorry is like saying sorry for being me, for being real.. But without you guys, I wouldn't be where I am right now. You all had a specific purpose, good and bad, in my life and I can only thank you. Because where I am right now, I couldn't be happier.