I remembered that he is into his own gender.

Today, it was a normal university day. Except one thing. I remembered that he is into his own gender.

The five of us were hanging out casually in the cafeteria, like we usually do on uni days. My friend Abs started checking out the hot girls who were walking/sitting/chilling around us. Sharing his girl tastes etc. My other friend Freds began jumping in the fun as well, while my other friend, Bees, who's taken, didn't. And well the last guy, Dees, he was sitting extremely uncomfortably and not joining in the fun. Like at all. If you hadn't pay attention to him during this very moment, you wouldn't have noticed his unusual behavior.

About three months ago, I learnt that Dees is gay, via his best friend who told me out of genuine panic. The kind of panic where if you don't share the secret with someone else, it'd kill you alive. When I heard it, it suddenly hit me. In an instant series of flashbacks, I realized that he's never ever mentioned anything about girls, even though he has an extremely active social life. I never ever caught him looking at girls or some boobies. And I've known the guy for almost 10 months now.

His best friend told me that additionally to him not being out of the closet, Dees is in love with a guy, since almost a year now, whose circumstances doesn't allow them to date. Fortunately there's no friendzone here but they both know dating is not an option even though they are both in love with each other. Ahhh... when love is not enough... what a shitty thing that is.

We tried once to make him feel more comfortable, at least with us, within our little group of 6, since we are not judgemental I thought it would help, and alcohol was not that far from us... (lol), I started sharing deep confessions during the drinking game, so did Bees and Freds. But at the end of the night, we got almost nothing. Due to Freds being so damn drunk that he talked almost all night, ohh the bastard. I guess, being around guys who are very manly and macho, won't help his situation and encourage him to come out of the closet. 

I have no conclusion for this post tbh. My only wish right now is for Dees to feel comfortable in his skin and accepts who he is, he might probably feel lighter and happier. I adore him to the bits and I feel powerless for not being able to make him feel comfortable in his skin. He is such an amazing guy. So honest, kind and humble. Life is indeed unfair sometimes...